Class Notes | 5th Grade Science | Survival Mechanisms & Dying to Self

If you caught the first post in this series, you may recall a mention about a certain bug that mothers disapprove of having all over their kitchens. 

Fact: Pill bugs can and will escape a container covered in plastic wrap with air holes; mothers disapprove. 

Here's another Fact: 'Pill bugs' aren't bugs at all; they are terrestrial crustaceans. They are actually more closely related to lobsters, crabs and shrimp than to insects, being the only crustaceans that have adapted to living completely on land. 

A few other fun facts about these critters that we learned about in Mrs. S's 5th Grade Science Class: 

• Pill bugs breathe with gills, just like their ancestors. To keep their gills from drying out on land, they are most active at night and live in damp areas under things like logs, mulch and stones. 
• The reason they are called pill bugs, or 'rolly polies', is because they can roll their bodies into a tight little ball when they are threatened in a process called 'Conglobation'. It's a Survival Mechanism that protects their soft underparts from predators and helps them preserve moisture on their gills.

Have you ever felt like a pill bug, wanting to curl up into a little ball and hide away somewhere dark when you feel like the world around you wasn't very safe? Or maybe you're more like a bombardier beetle, spewing hot, poisonous acid at those who feel threatening. Perhaps you use intimidation, bearing your teeth and growling to warn off anyone who comes too close. Or maybe still, it's deception that's your Survival Mechanism of Choice, like the Dynastor butterfly that mimics a snake in its fragile pupal stage. 

Survival mechanisms - we all have them, and we learned them early. As homo sapiens, we've developed some creative ways of protecting ourselves when we are afraid. In the book I'm reading right now, Suleika Jaouad writes, "Fear has an evolutionary purpose, as we know..." 

I've been thinking a lot recently about what it means to "Die to Self". This platitude is one I've often wrestled with when it came to my self-image, thinking that my "Self" was bad, and that perhaps it deserved to die. The image I saw was reflected back to me through the looking glass of a wrathful and avenging God. During my work with Internal Family Systems, my view of a broken "Self" was replaced with the idea of multiple "Parts" that comprise a whole "Self". What I knew to be True during the deconstruction of my identity and this view of God was twofold: That Jesus desires wholeness for us, and that there are no "Bad" parts; what we might call "less-desirable" Parts of our Selves are really just deeply afraid Parts, trying to protect us from real or perceived threats for the sake of survival. It's our human nature.  

When Jesus was explaining to His disciples for the first time that He would go on to Jerusalem to be killed, He said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" 

Something I've learned over the last year is that Fear does not protect me from harm. In fact, Fear actually causes harm, preventing me from living abundantly. Fear kept me curled up into a ball, hiding away from the scary world. Fear was behind the hot, poisonous words spewed to those who threatened me, real or perceived. Fear led to deception, putting on a disguise to protect the soft, fragile body underneath. 

Something else I've learned, however, is that confronting Fear, rather than running from whatever it is you are afraid of, causes it to lose its power. The less power that Fear had over me, the more other feelings started to emerge in its place - feelings like wonder, trust, peace, and Curiosity. 

Jesus tells us - no, commands us - not to fear. When we really take this as a crucial command and follow in a sincere obedience, sometimes, well...sometimes it can feel like dying. 

(A caveat*: Remember - Jesus is talking about our souls in this passage. I don't believe that He would ever condone putting ourselves in harm's way - physical or otherwise. He desires life, and life abundantly for us. Fear, like any other emotion, can be used to reveal something about ourselves, and it's at this point that we can use our discernment to make the most loving choice for ourselves and others' safety and well-being). 

What I'm referring to here is when telling the truth leaves you feeling exposed, fragile, and vulnerable. When giving a kind word to someone that you'd rather bite feels like a stab to the chest. When setting down the addiction feels like losing a limb or an eyeball. It doesn't feel natural. And I think that was Jesus' whole point! To go against our human nature when it comes to obedience to His Word - that is, Jesus Christ.

It is on the altar of obedience where we can die to self, thus becoming a Living Sacrifice, for the sake of life and life abundantly. 

Homework Questions: 

1. What survival and defense mechanisms can you observe and identify in your own behavior that cause more harm than protection? 

2. What would trusting in God's Word look like as we set these aside and face our fears? 

3. Can you identify a time that obedience brought grief or pain? What was the outcome of that?